We gay dads have pulled through struggles and self-reckonings to plant ourselves in parenting and should have the kinship names we want. When our son was an infant, I worried that some people would think that I won something by getting the title, or even that the name implies that I’m genetically related to our son.
I also associate 'Dad' with being distant, and even more, dangerous. For me, the name feels like bringing home the bacon and bring me my slippers, the gold-standard, the pater familias, the World’s #1 Dad coffee mug on Father’s Day. Truth is: I feel both honored and a bit guilty to be called Dad. My take quickly gets too complicated, too tender for social media. I explain that my son Luke calls me Dad and my husband is Dada. I try to peck out quick answers to these new dads on my phone. When our kids were first born, we both wanted to be called ‘Daddy.’ Neither of us like the other options.” The posts all start off like this one from Jake (not his real name) in Georgia: “My husband and I are at a standstill about what names our kids should call us. Gay Dad Private Facebook fills anxiously with the same question asked over and over and over: What do your kids call you?
